some notes on napkins.

Visionaire / Comme des Garcons via  rifles @ tumblr

“…the female narcissist is dangerous to patriarchy because she obviates the desiring male subject (loving herself, she needs no confirmation of her desirability from him). in the case of an artistic practice that performs female narcissism (such as wilke’s), the threat lies in its making superfluous the arbiters of artistic value. already presuming her desirability, wilke obviates the modernist critical system; loving herself, she needs no confirmation of her artistic “value.” 

—	amelia jones, body art: performing the subject

“Those who subvert social norms are, ostensibly, people who have forgotten that they can be seen, publicly, at any time. Therefore, when they transgress social norms—by expressing physical affection for a person not visibly coded as the opposite sex, for example, or by being fat and rejecting social and bodily invisibility—they need to be reminded of this omniscient social gaze, and in the absence of institutional discipline, must be punished so they do not transgress again. This is the mechanism by which a dude who sees me in a vividly-colored dress, walking alone as though I either don’t know or don’t care that I am defying bodily norms, feels compelled to scream “UGLY FAT BITCH” at me. He is applying social discipline and teaching me a lesson: Everyone can see you, and your body and/or behavior are unacceptable.”

—	So Michel Foucault and Jeremy Bentham walk into an elementary school cafeteria*

Cindy Sherman Untitled #479, 1975

I have been very very happy lately, friends and parties and Beyonce do that to a person. That doesn't mean I haven't been thinking critically though... and thinking critically makes me feel sad in kind of a detached way. I wrote this the other night on my tumblr, and I collected all of these things on Tumblr too, but I need the conciseness of a blog post with all of them together to understand what I want from art / critique / myself. Anyway, here goes.

I want ridiculousness in fashion. I want ugly. I want destruction, I want imperfection, flaws, ripped seams, extra armholes, mutated glory that when people walk by me they whisper that they just don’t get it. I want to confuse you. I don’t want timelessness. I want everything, right here, right now, no regard for looking regal or rich or calm and collected. Why do I have to be classy anyway? Why do I need to impress you? When I slip on something I love I’m not doing it for you, I am doing it to feel good about myself, I am doing it to be transported into a place in my mind where I am safe and powerful and the cracks in my existence are filled with gold and diamonds and chocolate and goodness. I want to be able to change what I’m wearing mid walk — flip my jacket inside out, upside down, endless options, I want to tear apart what I’m wearing and what I represent and build back up again. I want you to have to think about what I represent, the space I take up. I want you running scared because you don’t understand and I don’t want you to. Every fucking seam of my jacket represents something you can’t have because I don’t want you to. 

This is mine. 

All mine.

 You can’t have it. 

hur hur hur bob

Wearing vintage chiffon landscape dress from Ebay, Rebecca Minkoff M.A.C Clutch c/o, Wanted Shoes c/o (Similar ones found here)

My lady came to hang out for a bit, went to the diner, watched movies instead of going out to do anything interesting because I am incredibly lazy. 

I've worn this dress once before on the blog a year ago when I first purchased it. I haven't worn it since then actually, because it is very prim, but on impulse I pulled it out and just shortened it with a belt to make it more suitable. Now it's much nicer and I didn't have to sew anything. Woooo. 

Been really busy with Rookie shenanigans and zine things -- if you'd like to contribute to my zine read more about what I'm looking for here and then email me! I'd love to have you. :)

all i want is everything

Details of the other posts I forgot to include. 

Another outfit I wore to the park. (We had multiple outfit changes, because we are #glaml #diva #goddess individuals.) This one is my 'happy dress', though really it's my 'sad' dress because I got it while trolling on ebay after a terrible day. When in doubt, go shopping, right? I figured I could smother my sadness with chiffon. It worked, because I'm awesome. 

My hair is taking forever to fade! I think I'll have to take drastic measures. I want green hair!!!! Blah. Anyway, do you have a happy dress? I wanna know what it looks like and if you do. I'm sure you do, everyone has that one thing they put on to smile... :)

this feeling is brand new

Sorry I've been M.I.A! I had finals and parties and stuff at school. Now I'm done with the semester so there will be plenty of time to post, at least until I go to Taiwan in July (I will try to blog there too, I want a record of my visit!). I swear it must seem like I wear only Dusen Dusen now....meh, I'd be lying if I said I was doing different, lol. This is the Babydoll dress, which will be on Emerging Thoughts soon enough. I'm wearing a jacket I thrifted from Goodwill some years ago and my friend's flower crown. My sunglasses are vintage and I purchased them the same time I purchased my regular glasses. I think altogether they were $45 or something.

Some of my friends and I went to the state park. They dressed in Lolita and I...didn't bother, because I don't have enough actual Lolita because it's too expensive and I'd rather spend my money on lingerie at the moment, haha. I have to be off to bed early because I'm doing makeup for a shoot tomorrow, so I'll see you soon!